I really want to be known, much more, because of what I am for, rather than because of what I’m against. But it isn’t easy, because I still have personal convictions about what I think, believe and see as being true. And I enjoy sharing about my ongoing journey. It is so easy to come across too aggressively, too certain, and thus judgemental and demeaning toward those whose convictions are different than my own. I am trying very hard to self-edit and to be gracious and respectful in any and all disagreement.
What I am now for is to have an open, inclusive, questioning, and humble perspective.. I believe that I am, and all others are, in process of becoming which invites and enables us to continue to learn, grow, change, accept, strive, continue, etc. It’s not that truth is not knowable, but that it is not perfectly knowable with absolute certainty. It’s not that I have no more “convictions,” because I do. However, I’m striving to hold to those with a lot more humility and be willing, and even eager, to have my convictions questioned and even challenged, without defensiveness.
I am striving to be much more open to hearing about and discussing alternative and even contradictory understandings––those ideas, concepts and beliefs that I previously flat out rejected without a moment’s consideration because I knew that I was right and that those who saw things differently were wrong. Even now, I don’t agree with everything I read or hear. But I am learning to have open discussions that often lead to my having a better understanding. I don’t walk away from those interactions always in agreement, but I am striving to be respectful in my disagreement.
We are all living lives in process and in relationship with one another and with all life, human and nonhuman, sentient and non-sentient. I’m not only OK with uncertainty, I acknowledge it, I embrace it and I allow that uncertainty to inspire my curiosity and motivate me to question my own beliefs and to explore those that may even contradict my own. I reject “power over” in my relationships and I long for “power with” others.
But it isn’t easy—becoming never is.